I am privileged

[pandora_parrot]

I had a bit of a rude awakening this past weekend. I was in the middle of a heated discussion with aepalizage, which, in part, contained me lecturing her on what was wrong with her life and what she needed to do to improve herself. I explained to her, in my ever-so-clear-and-correct opinion, that ANYTHING is possible, if you are willing to pay the price.

She reminded me of something important then... Not everyone has the resources that I've had in my life.

This has been said to me before, but I think this was the first time I really heard it.

I am privileged.

I am well-off financially. Sure, I struggle with money a lot, but I make plenty of money to pay down my debts and live a very very comfortable life.

I am educated. For whatever reason it happened, I was able to get through college and get a 4-year degree in Computer Science and Mathematics.

I am not disabled, either by mental issues or by physical issues. I am able to function more or less normally despite what issues I do have.

I was socialized as a male, which I understand gives me reprieve from certain elements of cultural oppression that most women learn as children.

I am white. I don't have to fight against prejudice and racism in order to achieve my position in life.

I have lots of resources in the realm of social contacts and professional contacts.

There's plenty more, I'm sure.

...

I took what I said to aepalizage back. Sometimes... people just don't have the resources needed to do certain things. Although I have accomplished a lot through intense effort, sacrifice, and hard work, I cannot divorce my results from the fact that I was putting forth such effort from a position of power. I can't use my success as indicative of what everyone is capable of. I can't tell others how to live their life based on my example.

I learned a bit of humility this weekend, and for that I am grateful.

Comments

[changingone77.livejournal.com]

Yes, perhaps, but I think too much emphasis is placed on such socialization, and it's so often used as an excuse to marginalize trans women. I maintain that I was neither socialized male or female. I believe trans people internalize alot of different messages, are often treated different socially (if they're viewed as gender-variant as kids), and usually do not identify with their assigned sex anyway.

I just think it's an oversimplification to say trans women were socialized male, and it makes me feel like the truth of my childhood (transhood?) has been overlooked or erased.

What really gets me is how some people give their assumptions of male socialization such importance, as if privileges of class or race or heterosexuality are secondary to that. In my experience, they are not.