pandora_parrot: (Default)
Monkeys in suits wander around empty white corridors
Imbibing fine wine from golden chalice
and complaining of the rising cost of dry cleaning

Outside, she's sitting there alone, sleeping under a tree
Numb to the world and numb to her plight

She's one of the forgotten ones,
hiding within the world
Finding the cracks and eddies where she's allowed to exist.

The monkeys laugh and drink and make merry
while she sits outside and fights to live.

The drowning child makes great headlines
for stories and tales to share
Open hearts and open wallets reach out for those in need

But monkeys shy away from the dirty smelly creatures
that wander the land without chains
For fear... for worry... for disgust...

Open doors do not exist when the needy are real
pandora_parrot: (Default)
Drip
Drip
drip

Dark caverns, black and wet
hidden beneath the earth

An age ago, they were filled with light
dry and comfortable
bright and cheery

The elves danced to bright music
Magic and merriment
innocent and care free

What happened to those days?
The times when we danced in the moonlight?
and created our own reality around us?

Music from the past echoes forward
reflecting off the dark cavern walls.
Tear drops fall from the ceiling
weeping for a bygone age

The queen still sits in her gilded throne
But her body is gaunt, and her silver tarnished
The jester sits in the corner, sobbing
The only eyes that still see

The royal court makes webs of sorrow
catching their meals from the air
while servants scurry on many legs
and take their fill from their queen

Buried beneath her own creations
forgotten by the world
she has vanished from the story
pandora_parrot: (Default)
Wow.

Found this poem tonight from a few months after I started transition...

Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (Default)
The man burned down tonight, and another year of Black Rock City is coming to a close. I didn't go this year, but in addition to the fall of the man, next year's theme was announced: Rites of Passage.

It inspired me to write a song/poem thing.

Find the Fae

If you dare to dream, well, you know that's not enough.
You want to see what you've got, well you know you've got the stuff.
It's the will, it's the act, it's the thing you make alive.
If you want your life, then you'll have to take a dive.

Jump with me, leap with me
Come into the boundless sea.
It's the pull of the night
It's the darkness out of sight.

If you leave, if you run, If you travel far away
Then you'll know, then you'll find, that you could not ever stay.

Find the Fae...
Find the Fae...
Find the Fae...
Find the Fae...
Find the Fae...

But the fire and the cold, but the things I need to live
I can't promise anything, I have no fortunes to give
That blood on your hands, do you fear that its not yours?
The pain of your past, the cold chill of now locked doors?

When you leave your life behind,
I don't know what you might find
You might live, you might die,
That's the cost of what you buy.

If you leave, if you run, If you travel far away
Then you'll know, then you'll find, that you might have wished you stayed...

Run Away...
Run Away...
Run Away...
Run Away...
Run Away...

Yet the draw of this dark, you know you feel it too.
Like a drum in your bones, like a witch's deadly brew.
It sings and it screams, it calls out for your free life.
To choose something else is to choose to take the knife

Into the magic that will bind,
You must go and lose your mind,
Don't you know, don't you see,
That's the future that must be.

If you leave, if you run, If you try to run away
Then you'll know, then you'll find, that it had to be this way.

You must stay...
You must stay...
You must stay...
You must stay...
You must stay...

But were you to go you'd never find a place
So beautiful and fine, a home a restful space
You've wanted all your life
To be among the stars
And now you're here at last
You've found out who you are


Jump with me, leap with me
Come into the boundless sea.
It's the pull of the night
It's the darkness out of sight.

If you leave, if you run, If you travel far away
Then you'll know, then you'll find, that you're happier this way

With the Fae...
With the Fae...
With the Fae...
With the Fae...
With the Fae...







Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.
pandora_parrot: (Default)


This is my reflection on "Dancing"

What is our world lacking?
Joy and Connection.
If for one moment, we can come together
Throw our cares away
Become like children, and just be free.
Free to be ourselves
Free to move
And free to dance

Distance drops away
Borders and barriers drop away
And for one brief moment
We're just kids.
playing in the rain together

Maybe that's something.
Maybe that, alone, is enough to remind us that we're part of a larger world.
That we are part of an entire planet of people, animals, plants
Vistas and view that are unimaginable.

This is our world
This is our planet
And we are here together.

Maybe that's a pretty cool concept.

Waiting

Jul. 22nd, 2010 12:33 pm
pandora_parrot: (Default)
My eyes search the sky, watching the winged creature circle overhead.
The silver light of the crescent moon provides all the light I need on this cold and windy night.
I clutch my mud-stained cloak to my body, clinging for warmth.
Without taking my eyes off the creature, I take another morsel of food from my pack and eat.

I am waiting
Watching
Wondering if this is the moment when the winged one will come near
Close enough for me to leap out and grasp it

I'm waiting...

for now...

But when he comes close, oh, but there will be a great scuffle.

Flesh and feathers, claws and fist
We will writhe before the stars,
wheeling about the night sky like a tempest made of body and bone.

He will try to throw me to the rocks, punish me for my insolence.
I will just clutch harder.

He will dart through tight corridors, daring me to hang on.
And hang on I will.

He will dangle me higher than I have ever dreamed of being, forcing me to face fears I could not have even dreamt of before.
I will not waver. I will hold firm.

In time, he will see that my motives are pure
My heart strong
My will indomitable
And my strength unparalleled.

I will earn his respect.

He will look me in the eye
look deep into my soul
And I will know that we are one.

Soaring above the plains,
diving for our prey
We shall move and fight and kill as one.
Our union shall be the terror of our enemies
A force that none can withstand!

But for now...

My eyes are locked to the creature
Watching...
Waiting...
Hoping for him to pass my way.
pandora_parrot: (Default)
How shall I express myself in this moment?

Shall I follow the lines of the paper
Use established systems and patterns,
And stamp out another repetition?

Or shall I venture outside the lines
Draw wild and free
And create my own rules?

What if I'm the only one that likes the results?
Does it matter?

If my choice is passion or production,
I shall choose passion.
For that is where my dreams lie.
pandora_parrot: (Default)
Every day I leave your warm arms
Stepping out through the world
to face the cold dark day.
Fighting every moment,
struggling
to keep my sanity.
It's a bloody battle, this life,
living in this day.

I face the demons in my own dark heart
Ghosts of nightmares gone away.
Yet I live in fear, my mind alight,
wondering if today's the day

What if I come home
What if you're not there?
What if you were made gone?
Taken away from there?

The debates and arguments
that go on about our lives.
Invalid monster,
psychotic and bent,
Deluded, perverted freak.

It's my right to life,
my body, my choice,
You don't get to decide
But so many folks, so many lies
They'd rather I just die.

Why is it a question,
whether I get to live?
Whether my lover lives as well?
Isn't my truth and my life enough
Your incessant prattle to quell?

This is not a debate
This is my fucking life
My artwork to create

Still they refuse
and deny us our lives
and destroy us with words and steel.

I wish, I hope, I pray so hard
To fear to dare to dream

That someday I'll arrive
and together we'll dance
and live completely free
Being just who we are
Just being ourselves
Just you and me to be.

Until that day,
I'll snuggle close
And hiss at the oh-so-right,
Curl up with your warmth
And cling to your hand.
Twin lives against the night.
pandora_parrot: (Default)
I feel the soil between my toes.
The sand in my hair and wings.
The brilliant light shines before me
I face it without turning or running.
My bosom rises as I draw breath,
my lungs fill with air.

I am alive.
I have fallen.
I trod upon the earth.
My now-black wings dark against the sun.

No more will I fly in the sky
disjoint from all that is below.
I'll live in the mud
and here make my home.
pandora_parrot: (dance)
I am walking through lightning forests
filled with apple blossoms of fire.
Above the treetop clouds are swirling
misty bodies uncertain and near.

Holding your hand in this forest,
we are walking side by side.
I am walking on my own path,
Your moving as with my mind.

I go running.
I go explore a hidden nook.
You come following
Because you saw a nearby brook.

We are explorers
finding places within our hearts.
Brand new stories
Tales we never thought we'd impart.

Tell me angel,
Did you ever believe that this could be?
This here, our story,
A stranger tale did you ever see?

I've never heard it.
I've never seen it told before.
Our secret tale
That we share with all we adore.

Fantastic journeys
into pools of dreaming light.
Flowing water
Burying the demons of night.

How can together
have been so powerful from the start?
How can this story,
be even more powerful because we can part?

I don't understand it.
I don't pretend to get these things.
I just accept it.
I just adore your tastes and heart.

As we walk through this lightning forest
with fire burning between our eyes
I look forward into clouds of mist
that shield the future into disguise.

Tell me the truth.
When you watched the dark sun burn in that land
Did you ever believe
that you'd be holding my hand?

Tell me honest
When you saw lightning burst from the sky
Did you think it real
when you would find love this deep to feel?

Tell me, lover
when you feel our hearts burning as one
Did you imagine
that it would be even stronger when they burn apart?

Dreamlight

Jan. 11th, 2008 02:59 am
pandora_parrot: (peaceful)
Dreamlight

The precipice of life.
The dreamlight shining down on your face.
Your eyes...
They gleam.

What will you be, when you are who you are?
Where will you soar to?
The journey of life is precisely that... a journey.
Ups and downs, lefts and rights, twists and turns.
Don't expect to ever "complete it" or get it right.

Just live, breathe, try, and do your best.

Shifting clouds
Beams of light coming down from the sky
A never-ending sworl of color and light.
A dance of nightmares and fairy tales.

Your life.
Your dreams.
Your pains.

Suffer. Grow. Learn. Change.

Make mistakes.
Fuck it all up.
Live alone.
Take a chance.
Risk everything.
Create a home of many.
Protect it all.

If this is the life to be lived, then live it.
Don't compromise.
Don't cut corners.
Don't be careful.

When the end comes, all that is left is your story.
What will your tale be?
Make it a good one.

The bright light is blinding
Eyes closed, take a step.
Walk forward into the dark
Fall into the abyss.

You will find your way.

A pretentious raucous journy of pixies flying too close to an unlit sun,
Bright lights from impossible places,
Twisting away into sunsets you can taste and dances you can hear.

Blink.
In the dreamlight, you are beautiful.
Just... stand a moment and listen with me.
Listen to the wind on our faces.
Taste the air.

Sitting in a swingset.
Rocking back and forth.
Voices call my name.
They want me home.

I take off running,
and laugh at silly dreams.
pandora_parrot: (love)
I'm so surprised at how you do so many little things for me...

I'm so surprised that you show your love so well with each little thing you do.

I'm so surprised at how much each tiny sign of affection means to me.

I'm so surprised at what it means to really fall in love and commit oneself to another.

I'll gladly take these surprises every day I am with you.
pandora_parrot: (freedom)
I was walking with [livejournal.com profile] crazedyote through a rose garden the other day and feeling a bit musical. Pony was commenting on how I seem so bright and cheerful and positive so much of the time, and the idea for this song came to mind... I took some time to flesh it out here.

Dancing Lands )
pandora_parrot: (journey)
(I composed something like this in the car on the way to [livejournal.com profile] elphie's place. It sounds awful without a drum beat, but I'm writing it down anyways. Imagine a really cool drum beat behind these lyrics. Something tribal. I intend for there to be a lot of time between lines and stanzas here, with lots of drums.. Yay Drums!)

Beauty in diversity
Read more... )

Outside

Jan. 8th, 2007 11:16 am
pandora_parrot: (shattered)
Outside

Dancing in the snow
Twirling in the rain
Stomping in the puddles
Let me out to play

Give me a jump rope
to leap into the sky.
Give me a swingset...
I dream that I can fly.

I'm tired of being cooped up,
Alone and feeling ill.
Stuck inside with homework,
Gazing over the windowsill.

Let me out to play
Let me out to play
Let me out to play
I want to have my day
Please let me out to play.
pandora_parrot: (journey)
In the darkness, I'm calling to you.
Shards of light pierce the darkness
They illuminate the vast sea of unforgiveable offense
Deep within the realm of pain.

Sunlight reflects against dew drops
Join and burn to form a mist of sorrow
Collecting into a misty shape that takes on human form.
Ready to accept the shapeshifter's soul.

Come into me and make me yours
Come to me
I'm calling you forth, beckoning you with my outstretched hand.
Rise up and be.

Hold back some more...
Wait just a little while longer...
I will see you soon.
pandora_parrot: (Default)
Hiding under the covers

Fucking world.
Doesn't love me.
Peek out from the covers and see.
I hide.

Because people are pain
and words are empty
the love that I want
they'll never share.
I walk alone
The rain is cold and lonely
I fall way down
into a sea of tears.

Love.
It's what I want
So badly.
I wait here for it to come.

Twenty years I hid,
Hiding under the covers,
Dreaming of the day when love would come.
Waiting for someone to take the time
to peek underneath and see
I hid.

Because people are pain
and words are empty
the love that I want
they'll never share.
I walk alone
The rain is cold and lonely
Filled with a sorrow
that no one can pierce.

Stand up.

Though I sought love,
I never felt it.
Family and friends
Partners the same.

They said they love me,
But I knew that they don't
The feeling in my heart speaks true
Hiding in sadness,
on top of my bed
I wished for my dream to come true.

Characterizing the past
Standing inside the doorway of life
Looking out into the world
Seeing the things that I desperately want
I never realized
I never knew
That all that I saw was right here in my heart.

Hello.
I was waiting for you to come
I was waiting for love to arrive
I was waiting for the dreams that I dreamed to be real.
I wanted you so much.
I needed you so much.
Your heart and your touch and your mind.
You were the one that I was waiting for.
You were the one that I sought.
Each time I was loved, I didn't pay attention,
Because they weren't you.
I needed you to love me first and foremost
So now I feel the love
Now I feel the joy.

Love surrounds me as I look upon your face,
Your beautiful face in the mirror.

Extra text )
pandora_parrot: (journey)
Spaces between moments of paradise,
Lost in a world of a life not free,
I hold the keys to all of the answers,
I'm not even sure what it is that I fear.

Stepping through fire,
into the avalanche,
I take the leap,
that will heal my heart.
Falling through smoke,
Tumbling past boulders,
The bottom is near,
It's time to let go.

Spaces between moments of clarity,
Fighting the urge to pretend I'm not there,
The hardest thing that I'll ever learn
is how to screw up, and the freedom to fail.

Open the door,
The baggage of ages,
Struggle to say,
What needs to be said.
Finding our way
Through all of the muddles
The magic is here.
The journey is now.

Spaces between moments of happiness
Those glorious moments where life is to be lived,
I follow my heart, I follow my destiny
The spaces between are shrinking each day.

Sailing

May. 12th, 2006 10:39 am
pandora_parrot: (sailboat)
Warmth
Upon my face, I feel you.
Bright light burns my skin crossed with the cool of the wind.
Shining light of the sky, across a sea of peace.
Opened eyes look out across the waters
Wind flows through my hair
My sailboat gentle slices through the waves

I think back on the dark storms that have passed
The turmoil and fear
My little boat threatening to tip at any moment.
Darkness, lightning striking, waves tossing me to and fro.

I think further back... to my days on land
The security of similitude
The blankets of conformity
The mirrors of transformation
The dead, dry land.

Tears fall from my face
As I delight in the joy that is my journey
I climb the mast of my ship and look out with my own eyes
I breathe the delicious sea air with my own lungs
I feel my own muscles flexing as I climb
I taste the living sea, moving and undulating beneath me.

Out on the horizon, I spy an island
Grinning with a peaceful delight, I set my course
And lay back to welcome the adventure before me.
pandora_parrot: (contemplative)
Reality or fantasy?
Is there a difference?
We play at pretend to create a better world.
It is through imagination and play that we can shape the world.
So it is not wrong to play.
It is not wrong to imagine.

But the power that resides within
the power to change
the power to heal
the power to love
it's strength is new
because it's finally you.

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