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I have a post coming up soon on the trip to Joshua Tree, but I wanted to talk about an experience I had last night.
Last night I had a dream about drawing. I had learned enough to draw cartoon characters and was able to do a fairly decent job of it, but I wasn't very good at drawing in general yet, and still had a lot of negative opinion of myself.
I woke up a bit confused, trying to remember what I could and could not do regarding drawing.
Then I realized that I haven't picked up my pencil or brush since December.
I make the excuse that I don't have a lot of time, and that's more or less true. But when I do have a few minutes to spare, I'm not drawing. I stare into space, read web pages, or play video games. Why am I not drawing?
Because I'm scared of it.
On some level, drawing is still this magical arcane art that I know that I can't really do. It's a complete fluke that I've been able to draw what I've drawn so far, and I am convinced that when I put my pencil to paper again, I'll be able to draw nothing better than stick figures once more.
I look at my sketchbook, always with me, sitting in my bag... and I look at it with fear. I *know* that I will never be able to draw the sorts of things I've *already* drawn again. I have these images in my head, and I *know* that I can't put them on paper. I don't know how. I don't understand it. I can't describe it or explain it. Somebody else must have drawn those things. I know I can't.
I suppose that I just need to grab the pencil and start doing it again. I've drawn some neat and simple things. I'm actually not doing too badly. But I need to "just do it" and quit hiding from it.
As for time... I should just pull the sketchbook out when I'm doing something else, like eating or relaxing on the couch or talking to someone while they do something else. It doesn't take long to add a few lines to a thingy when I'm not busy doing something else. I don't need to devote whole hours to drawing. Just a few minutes here and there.
But the first thing to do is overcome the fear I've developed of it.
Last night I had a dream about drawing. I had learned enough to draw cartoon characters and was able to do a fairly decent job of it, but I wasn't very good at drawing in general yet, and still had a lot of negative opinion of myself.
I woke up a bit confused, trying to remember what I could and could not do regarding drawing.
Then I realized that I haven't picked up my pencil or brush since December.
I make the excuse that I don't have a lot of time, and that's more or less true. But when I do have a few minutes to spare, I'm not drawing. I stare into space, read web pages, or play video games. Why am I not drawing?
Because I'm scared of it.
On some level, drawing is still this magical arcane art that I know that I can't really do. It's a complete fluke that I've been able to draw what I've drawn so far, and I am convinced that when I put my pencil to paper again, I'll be able to draw nothing better than stick figures once more.
I look at my sketchbook, always with me, sitting in my bag... and I look at it with fear. I *know* that I will never be able to draw the sorts of things I've *already* drawn again. I have these images in my head, and I *know* that I can't put them on paper. I don't know how. I don't understand it. I can't describe it or explain it. Somebody else must have drawn those things. I know I can't.
I suppose that I just need to grab the pencil and start doing it again. I've drawn some neat and simple things. I'm actually not doing too badly. But I need to "just do it" and quit hiding from it.
As for time... I should just pull the sketchbook out when I'm doing something else, like eating or relaxing on the couch or talking to someone while they do something else. It doesn't take long to add a few lines to a thingy when I'm not busy doing something else. I don't need to devote whole hours to drawing. Just a few minutes here and there.
But the first thing to do is overcome the fear I've developed of it.
