I'm angry

[pandora_parrot]

One of the things I've been exploring in the past few months is the ability to be ANGRY at people.

I'm feeling a lot of anger today.



I'm angry at passive aggressive people not coming right out and saying how they feel about things. I'm angry at passive criticism and know-it-all attitudes of people. I'm angry when I feel something towards someone and don't know how to say it to them or express my anger in a constructive way. I'm angry when I see myself tending towards what could become passive-aggressive.

I'm angry at the world for all of its stupid anti-queer shit. I'm angry that I grew up hiding who I was in terms of both my gender identity and my sexuality. I'm angry that there are still kids, teens, and adults living their lives in fear and suffering harassment because of who they love or because of how they look or what genitals they have or had.

I'm angry that I had to grow up in a family with an abusive mother and sister. I'm angry that I ever loved them in the first place. I'm angry that they took themselves away from me and that I *care* that they did. I'm angry that I long for the days before I understood their behavior.

I'm angry at the abusive relationships I've been in. I'm especially angry at those people that are being the abusers in relationships with close friends of mine. I'm angry that I'm powerless to do anything to "save" friends that are currently experiencing abuse.

I'm angry that people don't take responsibility for themselves and their actions. I'm really frustrated that people don't take responsibility for their lives and getting what they want. I'm frustrated at people that keep waiting for someone or something else to magically drop what they are looking for out of the sky and give it to them. Without working hard, you can't accomplish anything. Not to say that working hard necessarily does anything by itself. It still takes luck, circumstance, etc. as well. But do nothing = get nothing.

I'm angry at invisible disability and the attitudes people have towards folks that have invisible disabilities like fibromyalgia and depression. I watch my friends suffer misunderstanding and discrimination because they are perceived as not having a "real" disability.

I'm angry at the stupidity of right-wing politicians I've been seeing in the news lately... redefining rape... outlawing saying "gay" in classrooms... denying a woman the right to claim death benefits for her husband because she is trans... limiting women's access to vital medical care like abortion... fucked up shit like that. Fucking fuckers.

Then there's some minor issues recently where some friends of mine were criticizing me in ways that I feel were inappropriate, but I didn't say anything because I'm not used to actually being okay with feeling angry about stuff. I need to tell them that they crossed some lines.

And let me just put the whole anti-queer thing up here again. Because frankly, I'm completely fucking pissed at this world beating us down like it does. I know too many people that have experienced massive discrimination, harassment, beatings, etc. I'm lucky in that I got off with only having my fucked up relatives deny me access to my mother's funeral and disowning me. Compared to some people, I've experienced relatively little discrimination. So fucking fuck you you fuckers that fuck with us.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Come join me in being angry at the passive-aggressive, stupid, know-it-all, bigoted, or whatever else kind of people that you are angry at.



Meanwhile... writing this post seems to be making me want to go and talk to some of the people in my life that are actually making me angry right now. Express myself and actually try to talk to them. Stop holding it in and express it.

Comments

[chainsaw-hime.livejournal.com]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Magneto was right.

[paradox-puree.livejournal.com]

word

[voiceofanangel.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's good to feel the anger. It keeps us honest, and from being passive-aggressive ourselves. Grats' on the action. :)

[fyremane.livejournal.com]

There is a War going on weither, others want to admidt it or nor.
The War for our rights to live as ourselfs!

[blackberry74.livejournal.com]

You're right to be angry.sometimes, it just has to be said. Just remember that there is a difference between letting it flow, and breaking the levee.

As long as the anger is produced and directed constructively, it can be beneficial. You're too smart and clever to let it deteriorate into bashing, or to take your anger out on others. For those things, I give you a great deal of credit.

Power to the people!