HSV-1

[pandora_parrot]

About a year ago, I was tested for STDs. I came up positive for HSV-1. I asked about this, because the doctor said I was clean. She waved her hands and said that it doesn't matter. HSV-1 is something everyone has and the test didn't really matter.

Okay, so I went away from that thinking myself to be completely clean, as that's what my doctor said.

A few months later, a lover of mine was asked to stop being intimate with me, because someone in his poly family had decided that, since they didn't have HSV-1, they didn't want it in their safe sex network. I was upset, and felt like a paraiah. I started talking to others that had HSV-1 and discussing issues of disclosure with them. Was it really such a big deal? Turns out that, to some people, it is.

I felt awful about it, but just dealt with the fact that I was no longer able to even kiss this wonderful person that I had just started to connect with anymore.

Within the last few weeks, it has happened again. A lover has been asked by their primaries to cut off all sexual contact, including kissing, with me because of the risk of HSV-1. And I'm pissed off and a mess about it again.

I believe that the test I took doesn't even guarantee that I have HSV-1. I looked at the test again recently, and it seems to say that to verify the reading, a second test must be provided. Which my doctor didn't mention to me because it didn't matter to her. Hell, many tests don't even test for it, its so common.

What's is HSV-1? It's the cold sore virus. A variant of herpes, just like chicken pox, that you tend to pick up when you were a child by kissing your aunt on the mouth or something. I have seen statistics saying that 70% of the American population already has it.

And oddly enough, I've never even had a single cold sore in my entire life. I get canker sores, which my doctor said might result from HSV-1 according to some research, but not cold sores. And I seem to get those only when very stressed. Haven't had one in a long time, even.

I'm upset, because this isn't my fault, all the doctors I talk to say this isn't an issue, the majority of adults have it, and yet people are treating me like a pariah for it. If my canker sores are any indication to go by, which isn't even proven... I've had this since I was a little kid.

This website suggests that simple kisses do not have much risk of transmission, but that french kissing has a slightly higher risk. Kissing other body parts, such as arms, stomach, neck, cheek, etc. cannot transmit the virus. Although that seems to be the opinion of just a single doctor... From other readings on the subject, it appears that the transmission rate is further reduced when you don't have an active sore. This forum seems to have some of these thoughts on it.

But again, they are anecdotal information, not from doctors. Doctors seem to be mostly ignoring HSV-1, from what I can see. Hell, this doctor explicitly states that HSV-1 poses no major health risk, whatsoever.

Frankly, whether I really do have HSV-1 or not, I don't feel threatened by it. When this significant a portion of the population has something, there's really not that much you can do to avoid it. To declare that you don't want HSV-1 in your safer sex network is practically declaring a state of monogamy or poly-fidelity, because there is a relatively small number of people that don't have this disease.

To me, it seems like over-reaction and paranoia. Or people trying to find an excuse to get their partners to be "monogamous" or "poly-fidelitous." Or perhaps they just don't want the stigma of "having an STD."

If people really want to be avoiding HSV-1, despite the medical community saying that its nothing to worry about, it seems they'll have to avoid a lot of things. Kissing anyone, ever, including your parents, cousins, nieces, nephews, children, etc. Forget any form of casual sexual intimacy with someone that hasn't had a confirmed test. And since its carried in saliva, you don't want to share any food or drinks with other people. Hell, don't stand near anyone that spits when they talk. Really, you should avoid all restaurants, because someone might have accidentally gotten a little saliva in the food. I suggest plastic wrap, wrapped around you at all times when near anyone else that has not been confirmed to be clean. And face masks. This is important, of course, because virtually everyone has this disease and you can never feel completely safe unless you completely disconnect from the rest of the world.

And that's my angry, frustrated, and very hurt self talking there. I'm very adamant about safer sex practices and test clean on every STD I've been tested for, but this thing, that doctors say is no problem, that I caught as a child, that has a low risk of transmission, that I've never shown any symptoms of, apparently makes me unkissable. Hell, you could even kiss a person with HIV, but not me, because of HSV-1.

In the end, I have to respect other people's choices about their bodies, and I can't simply take my opinion and force other people to accept it. Or perhaps if I can't respect their choices, I can at least accept them. And I have to accept the consequences, even if it means that I can't be involved with people that mean a lot to me. They have other priorities, and I have to accept that. It just hurts.

Comments

[snakey.livejournal.com]

I am frankly *boggling* at this. o_O

[jobethfun67.livejournal.com]

****hugs****

I don't necessarily get it either. I wish I could more to help, but know that not all people are that ignorant, just some people.

**HUGS**

Hsv-1

[p3aches.livejournal.com]

For better information about HS-1 here are some web sites that have helped a lot http://www.westoverheights.com/
http://www.ashastd.org/

Hsv-1 can be spread when there are no symptoms that is called Asymptomatic viral shedding. HSV-1 can be spread to the genitals in this way.

Asymptomatic viral shedding occurs on 56 days a year. The problem is pin pinpointing when it occurs. I have a lot of information about this. feel free to email me about this offline. JrnyFan3@gmail.com

[maradydd.livejournal.com]

It is overreaction, it is paranoia, and your would-be partners' paranoid partners probably already have HSV-1 and just never had an outbreak. Most people get it from their parents.

Also, it annoys me that so many people who don't care about HSV-1 completely flip their shit when they hear that someone has HSV-2. The only significant difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2 is that 1 primarily affects the mouth and 2 primarily affects the genitals -- but it is certainly possible to have genital HSV-1 or oral HSV-2. But no, people who couldn't care less about mouth sores get all Puritan all of a sudden when genital sores come into the picture, never mind that it's quite simple to avoid transmitting genital herpes if you pay even the slightest bit of attention to your bits.

I actually know someone who was in a multi-year fluid-bonded relationship with someone who had genital HSV-2. He never picked it up, because his partner stayed alert for that tingly feeling that presages a sore (it's apparently the same for cold sores or genital sores), and they used protection when she was about to have a breakout. Problem solved.

Also, amusing side note: having HSV-1 has been demonstrated to be protective against picking up HSV-2. It is possible to end up with both, but it's actually less common to get 2 if you already have 1. From this, you'd think people might want to get 1.

[murdercake.livejournal.com]

To me, it seems like over-reaction and paranoia. Or people trying to find an excuse to get their partners to be "monogamous" or "poly-fidelitous."

I sort of agree with this. It's a personal call, but it feels a little overly cautious to me.

[pandagenma.livejournal.com]

Question everything.

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

My parents were very strict about not sharing food/drink with others and I still keep that behavior. Probably the only reason I managed to escape Oklahoma without herpes.

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

Well, also you have to have a receptor gene to get it at all. You may be genetically immune--there's a reason that *only* 70% of the population has it.

[maradydd.livejournal.com]

Any idea which gene? I'd love to read more about this.

[interactiveleaf.livejournal.com]

Sorry I can't be more help here. I have a vague idea that there's more than one possibility, but I won't swear to it, and while Googling 'hsv 1 "receptor gene"' turns up more than 5,000 hits, they're almost all abstracts for technical articles that are way over my head.

Here's one that seemed the closest to being in English to me:

Both human and murine forms of nectin-1 (HveC, Prr1) can serve as entry receptors for several neurotropic herpesviruses, including herpes simplex viruses 1 and 2 (HSV-1, HSV-2), porcine pseudorabies virus (PRV), and bovine herpesvirus 1. HSV-1, HSV-2, and PRV can cause lethal neurological disease in mice whether inoculation is directly into the central nervous system or by peripheral routes. Expression of nectin-1 transcripts in cells of the adult mouse nervous system was assessed by in situ hybridization. Specific hybridization signals were detected in neurons in sensory, sympathetic, and parasympathetic ganglia of the peripheral nervous system. In addition, specific signals were observed in neurons of the ventral and dorsal horns of the spinal cord and of the brain stem, cerebellum, cerebral cortex, hippocampus, dentate gyrus, and olfactory bulb. These results show that the nectin-1 gene is widely transcribed in neurons in adult mouse. Nectin-1 is the only known receptor capable of mediating the entry of all three viruses, HSV-1, HSV-2, and PRV. Its pattern of expression in the nervous system suggests a key role in neurological disease caused by these viruses.

and

here is a link to another, which I didn't quote because it takes this comment over the allowable length. If you're capable of following the technical language, more power to you, but I'm an English major. :)

[alicephilippa.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Like snakey I'm boggling at this pure paranoia.

I do take care on those infrequent occasions when I have an active cold sore. Even if it just the tingle that suggests one may be becoming active - I always get them in the same places.

Other times why should I worry, most folks have got it anyway, and it's not really a big deal.

[snakey.livejournal.com]

Gah, I'm posting again because I can't quite get over how TOTALLY FUCKED UP this is. Jesus. Pretty much everyone I know has had a coldsore at some point, including when we were kids. It's like ditching you because you had the common cold virus or something. Totally and utterly fucked. *hugs you* You have every right to be seriously pissed off.

[maestrodog.livejournal.com]

Really, I know how disappointing it is to lose an intimate sexual partner, but put yourself in the other person's shoes...it really does make more sense for someone to keep to ANY relationship boundaries, sexual or otherwise, of their primary partner if breaking the boundaries would be a primary relationship dealbreaker. Even if the terms seem completely unreasonable to you and/or it's something you personally wouldn't practice. Had I been in a relationship with someone like your recent breakup, my guess is she would have broken my emotional boundaries once too often after only a couple of weeks. And I have my geographic boundaries too...I wouldn't attempt to date anyone seriously whom I couldn't get to, spend at least a few hours together, and then get back within a day's drive, maximum (even a 2 hour drive would be pushing that limit for me).

[chainsaw-hime.livejournal.com]

I'm agreeing with maestrodog on this. Regardless of whether the primary is being paranoid or not, it's their perogative to stay "clean," as it were, by limiting their exposure. It would be a tremendous disrespect (and in other cases, a very real health risk) to blatantly break these boundaries, especially when it's not your* primary that wants to remain clean.

* Generic "you" is being used.

[paradox-puree.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree that it is their choice what happens with their body, and I will respect and honor that choice. Doesn't mean I don't think they're a bit.... paranoid and such.

[salia-chan.livejournal.com]

if random canker sores are a sign of HSV1, I've had it since sometime around 8-ish.

Seriously, I honestly don't care providing I don't get painfull leasions on bits; I allready get random spermaticle cysts and that's enough ouch for me. Mew.

To fret about thus is to fret about something silly. There is the common cold, the flu, etc, etc, which you can get and has a much more ouch effect on you.

*shrug* also, chicken pox is going to be in my system forever. if I get shingles, iirc, I am contageous again. Mew.

[flynnacatri.livejournal.com]

Considering the way cold sores run in my family... we were probably all born with that XD

Really, I can see where it might be nice not to have to worry about cold sores, but hardly worth taking significant steps over *shakes head*

[skipperofarc.livejournal.com]

People prefer the appearance of safety over everything else.

[trekster.livejournal.com]

that's so mind-boggly. I can guess that I've had HSV-1 since I was about 5 or 6, then. I get cold sores (mainly due to stress, too). I agree that it's at least a bit stupid - if people can get this from PARENTS and FAMILY, nonsexual transmission is the norm as far as I can tell - then what the hell?

That being said, I agree with skipperofarc - appearance of safety. People love their illusions.