To see is to change.

[pandora_parrot]

Inspired by a conversation from here, but it applies to so many many things like gender, sexuality, human rights, personal habits, how we choose chocolate vs. vanilla ice cream, etc. etc.

To truly look deep into something. To question it and really LOOK at it. It takes courage, grace and tact. Especially when they are certain "taboo" subjects.

You're looking into things that people prefer not to be seen. They don't want to see. And by you seeing, they are forced to look. They have to consider the possibility that they are *wrong.* That they have caused pain. That they are lying to themself about who they are.

That hurts them and terrifies them, so they lash out at you. Because you are the "source" of their pain. It's not about being right or wrong. It's about *LOOKING* somewhere you're "not supposed to." It's about asking the questions, not giving the answers.

To see is to guide others to sight.

Learn how to do that gently, and you will change the world.

And you'll also learn a fuck of a lot of awesome things about it.

You'll change time and again. You'll discover that you're wrong about nearly everything you believe. And you'll grow.

Clarification: ophidios called me on the bias inherent in my original language on this topic, quite rightfully so. This entry was, in part, an attempt to make sure that the point was understood. "Looking" at something basically means to question it. I'm pointing out how important it is to constantly question and check and watch who you are. I'm pointing out how questioning yourself leads others to question themselves, and how that can be a scary thing for some people. Walking any path changes those around you. The more visible your path is, the more it changes others. A path that is "taboo" or well reasoned will affect people in very strong ways. Learning how to control that can affect positive change in the world.

At least, that's my opinion. I believe that any time you cause someone else to think harder about what they do, you've done a good thing, even if you've strengthened their resolve in opposing you. For example, although I base a lot of my animal rights theory on Peter Singer's Animal Liberation, I'd say that the majority of my feelings on the matter stem from conversations I had with anti-animal-rights-activists on USENET. I learn the most through opposition, introspection, and questioning. And I keep learning, all the time. I keep finding out where I'm broken. What I'm hiding from. What I'm trying to avoid learning. And I try to turn the spotlight right onto that. If I feel uncomfortable about a topic, I FOCUS on it.

And I get the most out of when other people do this to themselves, and I learn from them.

That's the point of this post. :-D

Comments

[soquili-gitli.livejournal.com]

That hurts them and terrifies them, so they lash out at you.

I'll warn you, this is definitely within my existing OS. I'm not sure if I've purged it, but I'll warn you that I did behave in this fashion previously.

Just a bit of an FYI.

[paradox-puree.livejournal.com]

Honey...

It's within my OS too...

[serendipitygirl.livejournal.com]

Kind of casting about in the dark as I'm not sure of the context but I thought I'd pitch in my two pence - you cannot make someone change - they have to want it or at least be somewhat willing to entertain the idea. Forcing people to see something they don't want to will, 90% of the time, make them dig their heels in harder.
This is not a good thing but it is a thing. Blame the lizard brain.
Nonetheless, none of this should stop you. Ever. :)
hugs
Wendy

[paradox-puree.livejournal.com]

*nods* But you you are forcing them to look when you choose to look. It's the nature of the mind to do so...

If you're gentle about it, you can help someone change. If not, then you elicit their pain.

The point of this entry is the link between your looking and their looking. The change is secondary.

[serendipitygirl.livejournal.com]

That I would agree with - to effect change, real change, you have to change the culture first - and the way to do that is to change people's perceptions.

[paradox-puree.livejournal.com]

"Saving" the world... One person at a time.

[chaoticset.livejournal.com]

Changing the culture happens irrevocably every day, as the culture itself is changing.

I believe truly changing culture requires either information or technology to change -- nobody's impressed by mentalist acts any more, because information transmission is so simple and omnipresent these days.

[serendipitygirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I'm speaking to directed small change on a localized basis; obviously the culture itself is changing and on that kind of scale, trying to control that is an impressive act of humorous futility.
Information tech is one of the big influences in how people see the world today (obviously) - some day I'd like to see if anyone could chart (retroactively) just what innovation led to what change, etc.
Wendy the armchair anthropologist

[mantic-angel.livejournal.com]

"To see is to guide others to sight. Learn how to do that gently, and you will change the world."

That phrases my current "purpose in life" far more elegantly than I've been able to, ooooooh. It's been something I've long understood, and while I've gotten better at studying myself, and decent at guiding people to the things they want to see, I still seem to find myself far less skilled when it comes to the truly painful things.

"Walking any path changes those around you." - I just wanted to comment that I really that quote :)

*hugs* Thank you very much for sharing that. It's helping solidify a fair bit of my mind. And, y'know, it's nice to meet a kindred mind that has her code covered in debug flags and traces, to ensure she knows what it's doing and make it easy to locate the flaws :)