I appreciate the points you're making here, but it seems to me like you're missing something. First off, I think there is a big difference between "being privileged" and having access to privilege. You're right that it's unfair to say that all men are privileged, there certainly are a lot of women who carry huge amounts of privilege from areas other than their gender, and plenty of men who seem to have less privilege then them. However, that doesn't mean that all oppressions are interchangeable.
Just because someone is a person of color, doesn't mean they know what it is like to live with a disability. And just because someone is poor doesn't mean they're going to know how not to be sexist. You may experience oppression, but that doesn't simply cancel out the privilege you experience. There may be elements that are universal, but there are plenty that are not. This isn't about which form of oppression is worse, but the simple fact that you have a lot of options that a trans woman of color who shared the rest of your experiences would not have.
It's true that there are certainly straight men (cis or trans) who know how to act appropriately within a queer women focused space, but there's still a difference between a straight man who understands homophobia and sexism and a queer woman. That may be "making judgments based on group identities" but I never signed up for the "we're all the same" mantra. Because we're not. Being recognized for my differences rather than being forced to assimilate is just as important as not facing discrimination on the basis of them.
Ultimately, even if there's a perfect straight man who is totally on top of everything, the vast majority of people there will have no way of knowing that he's one of the good ones. And just like Schrodinger's rapist, his mere presence is going to change the dynamic of the space.
Exclusionary spaces are not perfect, and have a lot of flaws. But the most important thing is that it's not an either-or situation. Most of the time we have our walled gardens in the small corner of big public parks that we spend most of our time in.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 12:57 am (UTC)Just because someone is a person of color, doesn't mean they know what it is like to live with a disability. And just because someone is poor doesn't mean they're going to know how not to be sexist. You may experience oppression, but that doesn't simply cancel out the privilege you experience. There may be elements that are universal, but there are plenty that are not. This isn't about which form of oppression is worse, but the simple fact that you have a lot of options that a trans woman of color who shared the rest of your experiences would not have.
It's true that there are certainly straight men (cis or trans) who know how to act appropriately within a queer women focused space, but there's still a difference between a straight man who understands homophobia and sexism and a queer woman. That may be "making judgments based on group identities" but I never signed up for the "we're all the same" mantra. Because we're not. Being recognized for my differences rather than being forced to assimilate is just as important as not facing discrimination on the basis of them.
Ultimately, even if there's a perfect straight man who is totally on top of everything, the vast majority of people there will have no way of knowing that he's one of the good ones. And just like Schrodinger's rapist, his mere presence is going to change the dynamic of the space.
Exclusionary spaces are not perfect, and have a lot of flaws. But the most important thing is that it's not an either-or situation. Most of the time we have our walled gardens in the small corner of big public parks that we spend most of our time in.