Okay, entirely hypothetical future kid, you asked for this talk.
The God and the Goddess invented sex, passed it onto their kids. They probably had loads of fun inventing it, because hey, it's still loads of fun today. You're gonna figure that out for yourself someday, probably much sooner than I'd like, but frankly that's my hang up, not yours.
Thing is, Him and Her don't care what kind of ring you got on your finger when you do it, but I care what you're wearing, because a round bit of gold won't stop diseases or stop you getting pregnant. Condoms will, and yes, the fact that I blush when condoms are even mentioned is one of the reasons you're hypothetical. Anyway, you can buy them at Boots or any supermarket, the trick is hide them under a packet of crisps on the conveyor belt and don't look the cashier in the eye when they scan the box through. But be polite to them anyway, because manners are for everyone.
So, er, yes, condoms are good, now let's go back to watching the telly, this time in an awkward silence.
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The God and the Goddess invented sex, passed it onto their kids. They probably had loads of fun inventing it, because hey, it's still loads of fun today. You're gonna figure that out for yourself someday, probably much sooner than I'd like, but frankly that's my hang up, not yours.
Thing is, Him and Her don't care what kind of ring you got on your finger when you do it, but I care what you're wearing, because a round bit of gold won't stop diseases or stop you getting pregnant. Condoms will, and yes, the fact that I blush when condoms are even mentioned is one of the reasons you're hypothetical. Anyway, you can buy them at Boots or any supermarket, the trick is hide them under a packet of crisps on the conveyor belt and don't look the cashier in the eye when they scan the box through. But be polite to them anyway, because manners are for everyone.
So, er, yes, condoms are good, now let's go back to watching the telly, this time in an awkward silence.