pandora_parrot: (trans activism)


Go Zinnia!

Of course... It's still not necessarily *safe* for a trans woman to keep her transgender status private, but it is absolutely, 100% her valid right and choice to keep it private if she decides to take that risk.

The onus is on the people that have a problem with this, not on the trans person. If you have cissexist issues with having sex with transgender people, it is *your* responsibility to make sure that you're sleeping with cisgender people. Your bigotry and attitudes about the "reality" of transgender genders is *your* problem, not ours.

I've heard some people claim that some people just have a "preference" for cisgender people. Fine. But the racist analogy holds true again. A person that has a preference for white people... fine... But consider a person that is attracted to a person that appears white to the point that they sleep with the person or want to... and later find out that the person is descended from people of color. If they "lose interest" because of that person's history, that person is, in my book, a racist. Period.

Same for someone that loses interest in someone after finding out they're trans. That's cissexism, plain and simple.

(For those of you not up on the vocab, "cissexism" describes prejudice against transgender people, especially related to the validity of their genders. It is much the same as "racism" is used to describe prejudice against people of color, or "heterosexism" is used to describe prejudice against lesbians, gays, and bisexuals.)
pandora_parrot: (anger)

Z Budapest, you disgust me.

Just stamp that boot harder. My face isn't numb enough yet.

Gah... I just write a post about compassion and then someone does something like this to enrage me.

I guess what I have to realize is that compassion doesn't mean you don't get angry. Maybe it's just what you do with that anger.
pandora_parrot: (Default)
Identity is an interesting thing.

I've met a number of people that claim that they are elves, dragons, lizards, vampires, angels, reincarnations of ancient wizards, and more. I've heard people claim to be collections of multiple people in one body with some coming from fictional media, some from other people, and some from alternate realities. I've heard even more claims of identity beyond even these.

Are these people crazy?

Personally, I don't think so.Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (annoyed)
The last nine days haven't been terribly kind to us transgender folk.

Several pieces of media have come out showing various degrees of ignorance on the topic.

Sure... it's not a physical attack... But attacks on our self-esteem certainly contribute to the rampant problem of suicide in our community, as well as contributing to the negative stereotypes that lead to us being refused medical treatment, being harassed or attacked, being denied employment, etc.

If you're curious, this commercial is how to do ads featuring this community in a way that is not offensive.


Jun. 11th, 2010 01:57 am
pandora_parrot: (sexy)
My dear friend Tobi has recently published her first pornographic film: Doing it Ourselves.

It's an award-winning movie by trans-women about trans-women. It's a wonderful and positive portrayal of trans female sexuality that is sorely lacking throughout mainstream media and pornography.

I got to see it a few days ago and I have to say that it is quite good.

If you want to support an awesome director and help her create more awesome works like this in the future, you should head over to her website and buy a copy of her video!

This has been your (un) paid advertisement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled livejournal.
pandora_parrot: (struggle)
A respected friend commented on my recent decision to move forward with SRS that she didn't understand why anyone would want to become a woman. I didn't have much time to respond, so I just said, "If I had a choice in the matter..."

It caused me to think about a few things, so I thought I'd go into them in a little more detail here.

Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (Default)
This is making the rounds: is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / or is it something worse

Before you click, I must warn you that's it's some pretty seriously fucked up stuff. Seriously triggery for a trans person. I'm going to summarize behind the cut and discuss a bit, but before you move on, click the link, and then read on.
Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (Default)
When it comes to sexual orientation, one's love is political. To go out in public, hand in hand with a lover of the same apparent sex, is subversive and a political act. It is a defiant statement that you will not allow your love to be treated as less than different-sex love. To get married with a person of the same sex is a further act of defiance against society, claiming the right to be equal with different-sex couples in the eyes of the world. Doing these things can be dangerous in some environments, inciting bigots to violence and anger.

But when it comes to mundane things like going shopping at the grocery store, climbing down at the climbing gym, or simply using the bathroom, you're not being political. To the rest of the world, you're just another woman or man, a person that is going about their life, with few, if any, thought given to your sexual orientation. Even the most bigoted person in the world is likely not going to care if you're picking apples from the same section of the grocery store as them, because they probably have no idea that you're not straight.

But for a transgender person, this is not true. Transgender people face invalidation of their genders in practically everything we do. For us, the simple act of going shopping for groceries is a dangerous, subversive act that may incite violence and anger in bigots. To simply use the restroom is risky business. What if I'm outted as trans? What if someone finds out? What if they deny me my gender identification? For something like shopping, the worst you might get is harassment. But for restroom use, or worse, locker room use at the gym, being read as trans can have the consequence of getting your banned from the facility or business that you are in. It can result in legal actions being taken against you. And it can absolutely result in physical violence.

For the transgender person, one's entire life is an act of defiance against societal norms. It's a political, subversive act, denying deeply held ideas about gender and demanding the right to be equal with others of one's gender identity.

I just read about blogger Jeremy Hooper and his partner getting married and having Martha Stewart's Wedding magazine cover their wedding. And I'm definitely happy for the couple and happy that GLB folks have made another step into being treated as ordinary by the mainstream.

But at the same time, I find myself wishing for a moment like that in my life, for my community. What will true and full acceptance of transgender people look like? What will the little steps on the way there be? The journey is starting, with transgender characters popping up on TV more and more, and more people coming out of the closet, with more and more activity going on breaking the stereotypes and showing trans people as ordinary. But it's only just beginning, and has a long way to go yet.

Unlike cisgender GLB folks, some transgender people can never "turn it off" and look normal. What will the acceptance of such people look like? What will the day look like when even the passable trans people no longer have to fear being "found out?" When we can all be open about ourselves or just experience our mundane lives without worrying that it might result in getting fired, murdered, or worse.

I'd like to see that sort of thing in a magazine some day.
pandora_parrot: (transgender)
My transition was a bit of a rocky one, especially where it comes to family. I went from being very close to my family to only having my father and a few aunts that used to be very distant from me. You all know the story.

So it makes me really really intensely jealous when I hear about how a friend of mine has a connection with their family still. Getting lunch with a brother, spending time with parents, etc. It hurts, because I'm pained by losing my own family.

And yet, I hope that someday there'll be more folks like them. Folks whose families don't abandon them for being trans.

I hope there's a day when the concept of being trans doesn't go hand in hand with being persecuted.
pandora_parrot: (anger)
I feel dangerously close to writing off humanity and deciding that only the interesting people, as I define them, deserve to live...

Here's a story about a woman that put on an awesome goth wedding. She's beautiful, and she's had an awesome wedding. 200 guests came. It was amazing.

And when it was all said and done, and the bride and groom were on their way home, waiting for a taxi, some thugs attacked her and pushed her down some stairs, causing her to have to go on her honeymoon with a black eye and other trauma. Why? Because she looked weird.

Meanwhile, this fiasco has been making me want to stab people. According to some of the people referenced in this post, if a post-op transsexual has sex with someone without telling the person that they're trans, the transsexual is committing sexual assault.

The rant continues )
pandora_parrot: (transgender)
I'm going to be at Trans march tonight, as well as at Pride on Sunday. Any of you pepes in town for this? Come join me!

Also, wish me a happy (re)birthday, because today is the 4 year anniversary of the day I started transition.


Jun. 20th, 2009 10:23 am
pandora_parrot: (Default)
Wow. It looks like this story is a hoax, and a decent one at that.

So it appears that someone named "Raychel Roo" has been playing people in the transgender community. I'm not really sure what the full story is, yet, but Fake LJ Deaths has done some research and come up with a few things that smell funny about the story.

The person that originally posted the story has posted a retraction. The person that posted the youtube video indicates that he got his information from mods at Laura's playground, that apparently were in contact with Roo's mother.

From what I can tell so far, Roo has been on the forum for approximately a year. She has acted as a friend to people on there and everything. Apparently, some people have even talked to her and her "aunt" over the phone.

The fact that she's post op at 17 seems unusual. The fact that her recent history reads like a Lifetime tragedy is also unusual. Abused and assaulted by family. Losing her father to a car accident. It seems too intense to be real. Although, I do know people that have experienced that level of insanity.

But even still, I find it an unlikely series of events.

From what I can see, this looks like someone has created a fake persona and history that has existed for a year. She has spread fake stories about herself to garner fake sympathy for her tragic life. This even includes her eventual "death".

Details are still appearing, but we should have more data soon. The fact that someone would go to this extent to create a hoax is awful.

EDIT: Now I'm hearing that this was a plotline from a Nip/Tuck episode. Wow.

EDIT: I suppose there may be some surprise that this spread so far and so fast without there being much fact checking going on. Thing is.. Roo was someone that people have known online for a year now. Roo was a friend to many people. A mentor. A forum mod. There are people that I only know online, and frankly, if something were to happen to them, I likely wouldn't doubt it. I certainly wouldn't doubt that their entire story was a fabrication, and that the person never existed. It's just.. unbelievable that anyone would do this.

Frankly, Roo's story, as extreme as it sounds, wasn't really that different than that of some trans people. Hell, MY story seems implausible. When I came out as trans, my mother had breast cancer, and my father-in-law died of diabetes just a few months later. Then my family disowned me, my mother and others hacked into my private LJ entries and spread them around to the entire family as "emails." My mother encouraged my sister's husband to try to get my fired from my job. And then my mother did the two-faced, "I love you" to me while mocking me to others thing. Then, when she died, my step-father hired a police officer to keep me out of the funeral.

Really? It sounds completely absurd and ridiculous. How could this NOT be made up?

Yet for me, and others like me, it's more common than we'd like.

And thus a story like Roo's doesn't sound that implausible on the surface.


Jun. 19th, 2009 10:13 am
pandora_parrot: (angst)
Her parents got into a horrible car crash. Her father died, and her mother lost an arm.

There was a trial. At the trial, one of the lawyers outed her as a trans woman.

The town she lived in was... somewhat less than supportive. They threatened her and her mother with death threats.

Yesterday, at 2pm, she was kidnapped, gang raped, bludgeoned with a sledgehammer, and buried alive.

She managed to crawl out of her grave and find help, but died in ICU last night.

All this for being transgender...

Details are scant, but here's where I heard about this.

I'm hoping this turns out to be a fake story, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised at all if this were real.

EDIT: This looks like a hoax. Read here
pandora_parrot: (trans activism)
I wrote an essay on a disturbing trend I've been seeing online lately in trans-related forums and support groups. Feel free to read on if you like.

x-posted to [ profile] transgender, [ profile] tranny_rage, and [ profile] transfeminism.

Read the tl;dr! )
pandora_parrot: (angst)
Seen in [ profile] transnews today. This may be triggery.

The following article was written for the March 2008 issue of The Empty Closet. It is available at The Empty Closet's website.
Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (Default)
If you're interested in this sort of thing, I'm currently involved in a debate with some "HBS" trans-folk over on Transadvocate. It was regarding an issue discussed over on bilerico. I'm having a good time on both and am really hammering out some of what I believe with regards to this stuff. It's a very interesting discussion.

How should a society handle those individuals that do not fit its definitions of "men" and "women?"

Should it...
Expand those definitions to include more people?
Ignore the issue and let such people figure it out on their own?
Offer them explicit protections against discrimination?

The issue has been largely ignored in America for a long time, it seems. Currently, trans people are pushing to get it recognized as a real issue. But how do we avoid unintended consequences of this recognition? How does this apply to things like monogender schools, binary gendered bathrooms, showers, and locker rooms, and more?

The question is serious, but very interesting.

I'd love to read your thoughts on it. :)
pandora_parrot: (transgender)
An article written by a dear friend of mine:

On Being Transgendered
by Jamie Roberts ([ profile] changelingjane
Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (trans activism)
This is somewhat amusing.

Calpernia Adams and Andrea James respond to hate mail about their new show.
pandora_parrot: (transgender)
Continuing, repeating, and building on much of what I've written in the past.

Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (transgender)
This story is seriously moving... It's the story of a young trans-woman and how she realized that she had to stop switching back and forth to please other people... It's very powerful.


pandora_parrot: (Default)
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