pandora_parrot: (Default)
Sometimes, I feel the need to consider, talk about, or remind people what this LJ here is about.

The primary purpose that my blog serves is to be a shared record of my thoughts. Because of fucked up crap in my childhood, I have a lot of issues with memory. If I have a thought and I don't share it with someone, it becomes invisible and insubstantial. I will forget it or misremember it. My blog is a place for me to record thoughts and share them with others, to make them real and to store them for review in the future. Livejournal was vital in my forming of a self-identity and self-confidence. It was vital in learning to trust myself, my thoughts, and my emotions, and it still helps me out with that.

Related to that last, my blog is a place for me to effectively think out loud. On this blog, you'll find many essays that I've written, analyzing and contemplating a very wide variety of topics. My favorite topic is myself, analyzing my behavior, my quirks, my failings, my successes, etc. It is one of the most powerful tools for self-therapy that I have found. It gives me the ability to openly share my thoughts on what I'm trying to work through, and through the advice and feedback I get from others about it, I refine things and tinker with my brain until I figure out a way to make it work better. LJ has helped me deal with emotional issues related to relationships, sex, egotism, and so many other things.

I also have a lot of essays on here analyzing various bits of things I'm trying to figure out about the world. Much like there's a lot about myself that I don't understand, there's a lot about the world in general that I don't understand, and I use my LJ to work on that. I write a lot of essays about things as a way to try to articulate my conception of them, so that that my conceptions of the world become explicit and real. They become something I can actually manipulate and get feedback on.

After essays, this LJ becomes a record of experiences that I've had. I have a lot of intense experiences, and I like to record those experiences so that I can revisit them later. Sometimes, entries like these will simply be a record of some experience that I want to re-remember some day later. Celebrations of exciting "firsts" in my life, like my first time rock climbing or skateboarding. Records of sad events, like the passing of my mother. Stuff like that.

Other times, the entry will be my way of trying to process an event. Figuring out how to place it into my mind and what I should think about it. Was it a positive experience? A negative one? Something else? I'm exploring just how I feel about something.

After that, it becomes a place to socialize. I'll announce events, let people know where I'm at and what I'm doing, stuff like that. Basically a place to connect with people. I love interacting with other people and their ideas. I love debates and discussions and everything else. I love connecting with people like you. Learning about your experiences, hearing what you have to say about things, etc. That's a huge reason why I love LJ: The ability to read about *YOUR* experiences, thoughts, etc.

Still, besides the socialization and interaction we have here, you are what makes this LJ thing work for all of the purposes I listed above. Your comments, feedback, and responses to my entries all help me organize all of the information and emotions in my head. You help me with your advice, your comfort, your congratulations, your criticisms, your outrage, etc. Your stories about your own experiences help me to further figure myself out. I learn from you, and I grow in strength and self-confidence because of you. By sharing all of these bits of myself with you, I am able to make myself real and become a real person instead of the imaginary person that I always used to be in my head.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here for me. And thank you for being my "LJ friend." You mean more to me than you could ever imagine.

LJ Usage

May. 18th, 2009 04:42 pm
pandora_parrot: (me)
Okay, after several weeks of taking breaks and being careful with LJ, and I think I finally found a compromise to some of the discomfort I've been feeling about LJ. As such, I've taken the necessary steps, and things seem to be working out very well. I'm very glad that I made the changes that I made. :)

Anyways, I'm back on LJ here, and will be posting, but I will no longer be posting some of my more private thoughts. I'm going to focus on sharing bits of my life here, thoughts I have on things, and some more public musings on who I am and what's going on with me. Just less/none of the uber-sensitive private stuff.

Thanks for reading!
pandora_parrot: (Default)
I've decided to change my LJ theme. I really love some of the photos that were taken of me at Faerieworlds, and so I wanted to change my theme to match the new userpics.

I also really like the change in tone. I've been considering such a change for a while now.

I've also been considering a username change... I feel as though my spirit has gone to a bit of a darker/more thoughtful place these days, and I wonder whether "gentle_gamer" really reflects that spirit anymore.

I've changed my LJ profile, as well.

LJ sucks

Jul. 5th, 2007 12:45 pm
pandora_parrot: (frustration)
WTF is up with LJ lately? It seems like it's been broken for the past month... Yeesh.

I'm still not getting all of my comment notifications... I'm still having trouble commenting on others... People are still reporting other issues.

C'mon people... Fix your website!
pandora_parrot: (anger)
On [livejournal.com profile] mtf_undressed today, there was a huge drama explosion about the fact that TV and CD men are allowed to post there. Being a trans-woman myself, I can understand the pain that is experienced when we are confused for cross-dressers and transvestites. We are not men. They are. And I can understand the wish to distance ourselves from other behaviors considered "immoral" such as sexual fetishism or "playing dress up." However, my attitude is one that desires freedom for all, regardless of their expressions... I decided to share a few of my posts to the community on the subject with you.Read more... )
pandora_parrot: (struggle)
I'm finding it rather amusing that Livejournal made such a big deal out of those breastfeeding userpics, and now tons of people have breastfeeding userpics.

Talk about backfire... :P

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Pandora Parrot

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